lonely

I hate being alone. At least tonight it is really bothering me. Halloween is usually a really fun holiday for me. The weekend was fun, but the day is usually fabulous. The trick or treaters came, Janel, Denise and Aunt Dianne came with the kids to the door and that was fun.

Then I went to this party that wasn't an LDS sponsered activity, (didn't know that until I got there). It was "clean" meaning no drugs and alcohol, but I saw a group of them drinking in the parking lot, so a lot of good that did. The costumes were okay for the most part, but some people...why were they wearing anything? I mean...well, anyways.

I went to this party alone figuring some of my friends would be there. Well, they weren't. Probably because they are smarter than I am. I was there for 1 1/2 hours looking for people I knew. I tried once or twice to talk with some people, but it failed. One guy was wearing a Bama cap, and that was cool...but that was about the only highlight of the night. So I left. I did this stinking amazing makeup job, (way better than the other night...no pictures, sorry) and all for nothing. Oh well.

Sorry, I am just not enjoying being alone tonight. I am ready for a date. Just one would be great. Or even better...a new friend. Qualifications: single (a must, I have LOTS of married friends, I need to branch out, and all my really good single friends are living outside the boundaries of this state except for just a few, and one seems to have fallen off the planet or something, I haven't heard from her in such a long time, hope she is okay), male or female (doesn't matter), around my age and stage in life, and ultimately forgiving. I will be the first to admit I am not a fabulous friend. I fall flat on my face a LOT. But when I do and I realize that I do, I try to make it up 4 fold.

I just...I drove home tonight by myself to this empty house (which I am trying to fill). I need people!

Ah well. Yeah, yeah, I know, I know, enduring this makes me stronger and will make me soooo grateful when I am with somebody, and just get over it. Okay. I will.

Eh, that's all. Good night.