Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Ah Boys

There is a guy I met just under 2 weeks ago at one of my Church's YSA dances which are pretty much the biggest jokes ever, and even Elder Christoffersen (sp??) said that they were lame. This guy joined the Church last January, is in the air force, and really seems to be a nice guy. He didn't get my number, much to my dismay, and so I proceeded to email his friend and asked her to forward my phone number to him. He calls, and we talk for 3 1/2 hours. Did not realize time went by so fast. We talked again Tuesday for something like 2 hours.
What did we talk about. Lots of things. Our families, him being in the airforce, stuff. Well, he would throw out some cute, kinda flirty comment, and I would get totally embarassed and wouldn't know what to say. Now, for whatever reason, this did not have the effect on me that flirting should after a while. The first time was nice, but as they kept coming, I don't know. I guess I kinda became unsure about whether I should talk with this guy in the first place, cause, well, I didn't want to lead him on to thinking that we were something that we weren't. But I had no way of knowing what he thought of 'us' being that I, being logical, kept thinking I was being retarded, and I mean we only saw each other for a short amount of time at a dance and talked on the phone twice. That couldn't mean anything. But then again, he could be a fast mover and all that jazz. I was okay at one point in my life with the idea of moving fast, but not after my first train wreck. Slow is the way to go. I really like the idea of being friends with someone for a while before being anything more than just friends. Ya know?
Wednesday, my friend invited me to spend Thanksgiving with her family, so we drove down to her home. On the way we went through his town, and so I asked him if he would like to meet us for dinner. I knew the answer would be yes from the way he had been on the phone. So he and his roommate meet us at a burger joint, and when I get out of my friends car, he comes up and gives me a cute bear hug (which I have to admit had great potential cause I LOVE hugs) and then kept his arm around my shoulder. Now, there are different kinds of arms around shoulders. There is a just friends arm around shoulder and a you are mine kind of arm around shoulder. This definately had the you are mine flavor to it. He kept me real close, and when I moved a little away he moved the same direction I went, which made for an awkward position, let me tell you.
We go inside, and he pays for me, which is fine, I kinda expected that. Then we sit and eat...and he keeps inching closer and closer, arm goes back around shoulder, he's tickeling my arm, back, playing with my hair. I was uncomfortable. But I didn't want to say anything in front of his roommate. I don't know. World, should I have said something in front of his roommate?? Let alone my friend?? I mean, this wasn't just a friendly tickling. This was very different. It was terrible, cause when someone I really care for does that it puts me into all kinds of wonderful happy thoughts...but not this. I mean, nice guy, but I just don't know him, and there really aren't any feelings there. I felt bad, cause his roommate revealed that he had basically been bouncing off of the walls since having first met me and that he had been really annoying. I mean, yes of course that is flattering...but goodness we just barely met. I don't know. I keep thinking I did something wrong. This isn't the first time either. This poor guy out in Arizona basically was head over heals in like with me, and I just really wasn't feeling it. We went out, let him hold my hand and all that jazz...and I just wasn't into him. I tried, I really did, but nothing. We had hung out a few times before we even went out, so I at the very least kinda knew him. He was tall, good looking, and if I remember right had his head screwed on straight. Maybe it was just bad timing, I don't know. I wish I had all the right moves and answers. Perhaps one of these days. It really will be the day when someone nice like these two examples continues to pursue by being my friend and gaining my trust and care as a friend...and then pursuing me as dating material. That will be the day. I would love that. Being friends is just so important I believe. Ah well. Until then, cheerio!!!