Wednesday, August 29, 2007

perhaps, perhaps, perhaps

Nope, no new car yet. Still in the works though. I think it will happen soon. Hopefully. Anyways...

Ever since I started test driving cars and shopping for cars, I take in more of the details of cars than I ever did. For example, I see more 350Z's than I ever did before I rented that thing. Man, those are nice cars. I would love to get behind the wheel of one of those things again!

I was going to have movie night with Grandma, but we both cancelled. She because the D-Backs are on TV tonight, and me because my car...yeah, it's dying again. I hope it will make it to work tomorrow...kinda nervous about that, but there is nothing I can do about it at the moment.

Okay, coming out with it. I had a really rough go at it last week. Really rough. I mean, was really low, very depressed. No, I wasn't missing Warren, I hardly think about him anymore. Even though I had gone to FHE, institute, the temple, grandma's, institute again, and had some things to do last week, I still was in a very bad way. I don't think I wrote a lot last week. Gosh I don't even remember if I wrote a post at all last week.

What has changed? Well, for one I refilled my prescription. Yeah, I takes medication to keep me sane. Perhaps the reason why I was so bad off was because I was used to feeling mostly normal and all of a sudden I was feeling bad like ALL of the time.
Perhaps it was a scripture I read. You know, the funny thing is, all last week I was very consistent and diligent, reading scriptures, saying meaningful prayers, etc. Goodness, I go to Church twice a lot of weeks (once to the family ward where I have my records, and once to a singles ward of my choosing). AND I am going to Stake Choir practice now.
Perhaps it was the fact that I was given a calling. I have a purpose now. I have an identity through this calling. Yes, me, Elizabeth, the Sunbeams teacher (!!!! :) !!!!)
Perhaps I just needed a test of faith, and now I have a bit of a break.
Perhaps it was some of the insights I caught while reading something a member of the Church wrote about recovering from depression and what it is really about. I have it, it is in a conspicuous spot, but I never would pick it up. But I ALWAYS felt like I needed to pick it up and read it, that there were things in that book that I needed to know. Well, dang it, I am going to read the thing!

Alright, going to prepare a bit for my sunbeams thing Sunday. :) Eek, I am so excited about this calling!

2 comments:

Rocketgirl said...

Can I just tell you, I LOVES your attitude!! Yay for being happy:)

Tamie said...

Sunbeams is a great class to teach. Here's my nugget of wisdom for you on that aspect: plan LOTS of things to do during your class time. Five minutes for the lesson and then little things during the rest of the time. Like start with an activity then the lesson, color a picture of what you talked about and play an active game of some kind. The kids will learn more and you will be more sane when the class is over. :) good luck with that, sunbeams can be a challenge. just be greatful that you're getting them in the middle of the year and not at the begining....they're pretty well settled into the routine of primary by now. :)