Adventures in Brining...

So, I think I am soooooo smart, and so besides actually purchasing the needed ingredients for preparing the turkey did I give one slight thought that I should start making the brine BEFORE lunch today? Oh, NO! (HEAVY SARCASM FONT) I will have PLENTY of time to make it and get the turkey into it over my lunch break.

HA! (very loud...)

I get home after leaving work late, going to the bank to deposit a check, AND going to Wendy's to grab a burger and a frosty. Still, PLENTY of time.

HA HA HA! (think My Fair Lady)

Apple juice, brown sugar, salt. Bring to boil. Then let it get cold. It boiled over (thankfully I beat the fire alarm) and do you know how long it takes something that boiled to get cold? Think jello people...

Yeah.

Cut, slice, measure and smash the rest of the ingredients.

Then I pull out the turkey.

It's pretty much ROCK SOLID. Ugh! So I put it in the 5 gallon bucket with too much cold water in it (have to wash my kitchen floor...double UGH!) to help it defrost enough so I can retrieve the neck and giblets.

40 minutes later, I force the legs to separate enough to get said items.

And the boiled mixture is still warm. Even after I put it in the fridge. Next time, it's going in the FREEZER!!

In the mean time, I have a lesson to teach at 3:45. It's now 3:15. I add the cold water and other cut up ingredients, and that makes it cool enough to add the turkey. Thank HEAVEN.

I was able to, during my luxurious off minutes, figure out how to remove the shelves in the fridge (that is a handy thing to know) and put the bucket with the brining mixture and turkey onto the second shelf.

I leave the house at 3:24ish. Make it to the studio at 3:41. Grateful for no more construction zones on the freeway and the lovely fact that I was able to elude all state highway patrolmen/women.

As I'm on my way, I have a lovely vision of the second shelf in my fridge not being able to hold a load of a 5 gallon bucket with a turkey and brining mixture in it. The shelf gave way, the door of the fridge (being incredible old and weak) opens, out bursts the bucket, the lid of course pops off, and there is brining mixture and a lovely 20 pound only halfway frozen turkey in the middle of my kitchen floor. It smells divine.

Gratefully, it was only a vision. A quick pleading prayer, a few lessons (1 cancelled and 1 no showed) and a car ride later and I discovered my second shelf is still in tact.

Oh happy day. I am somewhat documenting this experience with the hopes of putting pictures up so you can enjoy the experience along with meself. Oh, I hope it turns out well!!!!........